dorothystewartblog

about writing and life and God

Dementia Diary 3: Food, glorious food!

on September 7, 2012

My husband loves food. In fact he loves lunch! When he was a trainee accountant in the City  of London, studying for exams, his relaxation was eating his way through all the restaurants in the Good Food Guide of the time.

Later when he ran his own prestigious recruitment consultancy, headhunting high-powered finance directors, city lunches were   a large part of the getting-to-know candidates and clients process.

This interest of his came in very handy for me too.

I was the Business and Management books publisher for McGraw-Hill Book Company in the UK and I often had to meet would-be authors for lunch in London. Not being a Londoner,  I hadn’t a clue where to take them – but all I had to do was ring John,describe the author, and he would instantly recommend the perfect restaurant! It never failed.

So for us, lunch is an important part of our day out together, now that he is in residential care. One of our favourite restaurants is a local Prezzo where they serve easy-to-manage pasta and he can have a nice glass of wine.

Today was good. But thinking about it, I’m puzzled by the phrase ‘Spills and thrills’? For those of us in this dementia/carer situation, it’s much more of a thrill when there are no spills!

Today there were no spills. The wine glass remained steady, the sauce on the pasta wasn’t the splashy kind…

A good day.

I could be miserable and say that even a good day is a bad day – because of this terrible disease that has ravaged both our lives; because things aren’t how they used to be; because he isn’t who he used to be. because it never will be how it used to be and IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!

Yeah, we know that. But there is always the choice: like that glass of wine: half-empty or half-full? Is there something left to share and enjoy, or will we choose to focus on what we have lost and be miserable?

I’m trying to choose the half-full, the still something to enjoy together.

The text: 1 Thessalonians 5, verse 21b: ‘Hold on to the good’

A prayer: Heavenly Father, please help us to see the good, even when so often we feel overwhelmed by our situation. Help us find things to enjoy with our loved one, that we may store up good memories for the future.

Self-care suggestion: Allow yourself to enjoy what you can enjoy. If you’re sharing a meal, choose food you like. If you’re going to comfort-eat, go for quality rather than quantity! Choose the very nicest, tastiest and yummiest!

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