dorothystewartblog

about writing and life and God

Dementia Diary 21:On a clear day…

on November 16, 2012

The old song had it right: “On a clear day you can see forever”. But if you’ve ever been involved with dementia or care-giving, you’ll know there’s no such thing as a clear day.

Today was decidedly misty. All the cars had their headlights on as we got ourselves safely from the care home to our chosen destination.

And conversation over coffee on arrival, lunch and on the way back was pretty misty too. But headlights don’t help here. I have a complete new repertoire of non-committal responses that seem to keep the conversation going. Though I wonder whether any response is actually needed. Just being there seems to be enough.

When I started these posts my plan was to share the experience in a way that would be helpful to and supportive for other folk in the same situation. But I wonder whether trying to write something immediately on my return from the weekly outing was such a bright idea. Sometimes I’m simply too emotional. Other times baffled or hurt.

There is a danger in this medium: it can become a cross between confessional, catharsis, and therapy, and I feel I maybe need to ask my readers’ forgiveness for some of the tripe I’ve allowed onto the page. What you might call ‘old-fashioned writing’ demands a period of cooling before being reread to discover that some salutary editing is required. The instant-publish button of the internet lures us to reveal too much, perhaps, and maybe almost always too soon.

So it could be that the mist enhances the view so I will draw that misty veil over today’s outing and today’s Dementia Diary!

Text: “I have swept away your offences like a cloud, your sins like the morning  mist. Return to me for I have redeemed you.’ Isaiah 44 verse 22

Prayer: Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

Self-care suggestion: Isolated and full-up-to-the-gills with the emotional toxins of our situation, it is all too easy to spill it out to the first apparently-willing listener. But not every listener is safe and not every listener is kind (even if they do go to church!). There is only one completely safe Listener: your Heavenly Father. And He longs for you to pour out your hurts and bafflement and anger. He is willing to listen to confession and catharsis and as much tripe as we need to get rid of. And He will still love us just as much afterwards!

 

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