about writing and life and God

Dementia Diary 29: Facing the festivities

on December 15, 2012

Lots of food. Quite a lot of drink. Tables filled with people, so lots of noise.

Today was the Christmas party held by the care home where my husband is resident. Other folk had lots of guests (maximum 3 per resident) so there were lots of new and unfamiliar faces. For my husband, there was just me.

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At our table, there was a friend who has recently lost his wife and is taking it hard. Anyone who enquired how he was doing was told bluntly ‘Badly’. We also had a lady we hadn’t met before who seldom comes out of her room. A little bird-like woman well into her nineties, she was in a wheelchair and needed her food brought to her.

It was a buffet. A wonderful spread but maybe not the easiest for many of the residents.

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There were so many people it seemed every public room on the ground floor had been pressed into service, which meant there were lengthy delays between courses. I felt responsible for keeping some kind of conversation going but it was difficult. And tiring.

After the pudding, there was a raffle – for 80 prizes. Jackie, the lady in  the wheelchair, asked to be taken back to her room. My husband fell asleep – but then we won a bottle of rose and a box of chocolate biscuits and he woke long enough to accept the prizes and insist I take them home with me. Before declaring he’d had enough and wanted his nap.

So we gave up three hours in and I came home. With a splitting headache. And trying to remember did I ever like parties?

Text: “For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given.’ Isaiah 9:6

Prayer: Christ-child born into our world so many years ago, sometimes our celebrations of your birth seem to miss you out. Reassure us that you are always present with us and will never leave us.

Self-care suggestion: Christmas parties are going to be hard work for you if you’re attending to support your loved one in care. Plan in advance for time out afterwards to recover. I reckon I’ll be fine by Sunday evening!


One response to “Dementia Diary 29: Facing the festivities

  1. scskillman says:

    I’ve “liked” this post because I found it so poignant and touching. Thank you for your sensitive and thoughtful posts, Dorothy.

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