about writing and life and God

Hang on!

on February 23, 2013

My sister reckons Britain got turned upside down, wrong way round, some time in December and as a result, I in the east of England have been suffering a north of Scotland icy winter while she, in the north of Scotland, has been having a relatively mild time of it. I confessed when we were chatting last night that I’m tired of winter now. And then I woke to more snow on my car and the grass verges this morning. It is bitterly cold.

Chilly Southwold beach

Chilly Southwold beach

I’ve been out – down town for a few essentials (Gorgonzola for tomorrow’s turkey escalope in blue cheese and green pepper sauce) and most recently with the kitchen scraps to the compost bin at the bottom of my garden. En route, I scan the garden for signs of new life. And there it is: a brave little heart’s ease, a new snowdrop, and most amazing of all, perky dark red buds on the tips of the hydrangea. There are lots of blue-green spears of daffodils refusing to be cowed by the cold.

And I am heartened.

It’s been a roller-coaster winter – frost and snow followed by fleeting days of sunshine before the cloud blanketed everything in grey again. Rather like 2012 was for me, when I hit depression and found it hard to claw my way out. Each time I seemed to get my nose above the parapet, something would happen to thrust me back down again.

Today, the pit threatened once more. (It’s generally when I spend too much time alone.) But walking down the garden and seeing the valiant defiance of green leave and new tenacious buds reminded me that we live in a world where God is in charge and good will prevail. Because Jesus did.

I am His, so His sovereign rule covers me and that means that for me, spring is on the way. Because God promises that everything will work out for good for me (Romans 8:28). And more than that, God reassures me that He knows what I’m going through. ‘Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God’ (Isaiah 50:10b) .That verse is for every one of us who suffers from or has suffered from depression or bereavement or suffering which makes us feel as if we’re stumbling around in the dark.

We are asked to trust. To rely on God. Yes, sometimes it’s hard to trust. Hard to hang on in the dark, and the long winter of our lonelinesses, depressions, bereavements and illnesses. But:

‘Those who hope in me will not be disappointed,’ says the Lord (Isaiah 49:23b).

Spring will come. Let’s hang on!




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