I hadn’t realised how programmed I’d become. This morning, with no need to be at my desk to get an hour or a thousand words done before I had to go out, suddenly the day felt empty. Purposeless. Loose-endish. I’m suffering withdrawal symptoms already!
I suppose our novels and stories offer us a parallel universe to live in – one where we choose the company and the action, as well as the dialogue. Sure, our characters often surprise us, grabbing the reins in their own hands and heading off in new and unexpected directions. But generally we’re in charge and that’s a pretty nice place to be – when you’re writing fiction.
Grabbing the reins in my own hands was something I was good at in my earlier life. I did consult God (big of me!) about major decisions, but in most cases I did pretty well what I wanted, what felt right or good. You’ll not be surprised to know that there were lots of mistakes, regrets, back-tracking and whingeing!
I know now that God writes the best scripts and I want my life to follow His plan – in the big things as well as the small. I don’t want the reins, thank you very much. But I’d be glad of signposts and bits in the Bible suddenly highlighted just for me!
Oh dear. Wanting signs to show me which way to go, clear signals that say stop and go, then wanting reassurance that I’m going the right way! So exhausting. And today is hot, hot, hot.
I learnt today that God invented rest. So I’m going to thank Him for that brilliant idea and relax and have some! Maybe when it cools down a bit, I’ll get off my deck chair and do something more active. Like the ironing which has been waiting for more than a couple of days!
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